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Jokes
Mar 1, 2005 8:19:56 GMT -5
Post by axis axis on Mar 1, 2005 8:19:56 GMT -5
Post your jokes here! ;D
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Jokes
Mar 1, 2005 8:20:43 GMT -5
Post by axis axis on Mar 1, 2005 8:20:43 GMT -5
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night, when the wife asks her husband to stop the car.
There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road and she got out to see if it was still alive.
It was, and she said to her husband, "It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?"
He says, "OK, get in the car with it."
"Where should I put it to get it warm?"
He says, "Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there."
"But what about the smell?"
"Just hold its little nose."
The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with, died at the scene.
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Jokes
Mar 1, 2005 8:23:06 GMT -5
Post by axis axis on Mar 1, 2005 8:23:06 GMT -5
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Jokes
Mar 2, 2005 9:13:29 GMT -5
Post by PhockOff on Mar 2, 2005 9:13:29 GMT -5
NSFW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Jokes
Mar 11, 2005 4:53:10 GMT -5
Post by axis axis on Mar 11, 2005 4:53:10 GMT -5
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..." ------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men fart more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure. ------------------------------------------------------------------- If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in. ------------------------------------------------------------------- What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig? A woman who won't do what she's told. ------------------------------------------------------------------- I married a Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do men die before their wives? They want to. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. ------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. -------------------------------------------------------------------
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Jokes
Mar 11, 2005 12:59:56 GMT -5
Post by PhockOff on Mar 11, 2005 12:59:56 GMT -5
A woman walks into the doctors office and says she has a problem with farting. She says she's always farting but they're always silent and they never smell. She tells the doctor she has farted several times while they were talking and there was no sound or smell. The doctor says he can help and gives her some medicine. the women comes back and says the medicine he gave didn't stop the farts but it made them smell really bad but they were still always silent. The doctor then says...Well we fixed your sense of smell now I just have to fix your hearing.
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Jokes
Mar 28, 2005 5:42:57 GMT -5
Post by axis axis on Mar 28, 2005 5:42:57 GMT -5
Got this from PR. He can't seem to figure out how to put up images.
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Jokes
Jun 29, 2005 9:10:09 GMT -5
Post by axis axis on Jun 29, 2005 9:10:09 GMT -5
Train ride A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At around1:00 in the morning, he leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea," he exclaimed.. "Good," she replied. "Get your own d**ned blanket!" After a moment of silence, he farted.
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